Everyone LOVES Chili peppers! From Asian food, to Latin food, to good ol fashion american chili dogs! We put chilis in chocolate to make it taste more complex and in lip plumper to look more beautiful! It seems sometimes like there's NOTHING chili peppers can't do! Could they even, TAKE OVER THE PLANET!?
It seems sometimes like there's NOTHING chili peppers can't do! Could they even, TAKE OVER THE PLANET!
Human beings have had a pretty cushy time here on earth, and like all apex predators, our time at the top can't last forever. Could our undoing be at the hands of our spicy little friend the Chili pepper?
Millions of years ago, due to their soft seeds and tasty flesh, the chili pepper decided to take up arms in the form of a chemical weapon named capsaicin.
This astringent chemical would burn any creature who dared to challenge their continued existence. However, this solution would not last long as the chili pepper met it's evolutionary match, MAN..
Mankind found the spicy chemical weapon accentuated the bland foods they ate and began eating chili peppers regardless of their defenses. Did THIS give the chili peppers the determination to conquer man in revenge?
Did THIS give the chili peppers the determination to conquer man in revenge?
In an astonishing turn of events, peppers seemingly used their superior strategic skills to instead take control of the minds of humans and to force them through sheer compulsion to cultivate their seeds and to export them to all corners of the globe where humans reside. Going from a tiny bush in a corner of an asteroid strike millions of years ago in the Yucatan, to residing on every continent but Antarctica, and you can bet if there's a single human in a lab there, he's got chili peppers somewhere at camp.
Going from a tiny bush in a corner of an asteroid strike millions of years ago in the Yucatan, to residing on every continent but antarctica,
a map detailing the small corner of central america peppers originated, vs the world chili production in modern times, making the whole world a giant chili pepper factory for their evil designs!
Could their origins on the edge of a meteor crater that very likely wiped out the dinosaurs be the key to their otherworldly hold they have on their captives? Fanatics of the fruit are known to search far and wide for elixirs and concoctions made from chili peppers, and don attire covered in them. They hold whole festivals already drawing in tens of thousands to celebrate chilis and to partake in them en masse like The Beach n' Chili Fest in Myrtle Beach South Carolina September 27th-29th featuring Magician Charles Bach of Charles Bach Wonders Theater! Top brain scientists have even compared the way chili peppers effect the human mind to highly addictive drugs! Could they be controlling the brains of these unwilling participants in their scheme?!
They hold whole festivals already drawing in tens of thousands to celebrate chilis and to partake in them en masse like The Beach n' Chili Fest in Myrtle Beach South Carolina September 27th-29th featuring Magician Charles Bach of Charles Back Wonders Theater!
The Earth has ALREADY been transformed into a chili pepper factory, and chili seeds outnumber humans on earth 10 to one, yet STILL no one is sounding the alarms. Are the governments of the world in on this capsaicin conspiracy? When their populations get too rowdy or disobedient? What is it their centurions grab first? if not PEPPER SPRAY?!
Are the governments of the world in on this capsacin conspiracy? When their populations get too rowdy or disobedient? What is it their centurions grab first? if not PEPPER SPRAY?!
Only now do you realize just how deep this conspiracy goes, and just how much of a threat to all mankind these ocre overlords are to all of us, and retromyrtlebeach.com is the only outlet brave enough to tackle this issue! We aren't afraid of super intelligent hot peppers and we won't be threatened with their rule. We will keep writing about this issue until the powers that be listen!
Only now do you realize just how deep this conspiracy goes, and just how much of a threat to all mankind these ocre overlords are to all of us,
You can help eradicate this global threat by eating as many chilis as you can at the Beach n' Chili Fest in beautiful sunny Myrtle Beach September 27-29th and stay tuned to Retro Myrtle Beach Guy on Youtube for ALL the Beach n' Chili Fest action!!!
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