Now, you don't HAVE to vacation on America's FINEST Strand, Myrtle Beach, but, here's 10 places you DEFINITELY don't want to spend your holiday!
1. The Middle of the Atlantic Ocean
Looking for solitude? The Atlantic offers unparalleled views of endless blue and zero human company—mostly because you’ll be clinging to a life raft. Sharks come complimentary.
2. Chernobyl, Ukraine
Sure, the abandoned theme park screams post-apocalyptic chic, but the lingering radiation might give you more of a “glow” than you bargained for. The upside? You’ll never need a nightlight again.
3. Death Valley in July
The hottest place on Earth! Experience melting shoes, dehydration, and a personal meet-and-greet with a vulture. Pro tip: sunscreen won’t save you here.
4. A Random Cow Pasture
Nothing says “vacay” like dodging cow pies while getting side-eyed by a herd of judgmental bovines. Be sure to pack a fly swatter—it doubles as your evening entertainment.
5. Siberia in Winter
Love snow? Love ice? Hate toes? Then Siberia is your dream destination! Cozy up to frostbite while you ponder your life choices in -40°F weather.
6. The Dumpster Behind a Fast Food Joint
Smells like home fries mixed with existential dread. Enjoy the ambiance of seagulls fighting over half-eaten cheeseburgers. Bonus: no hotel fees!
7. The Surface of the Sun
Look, if Death Valley isn’t hot enough, why not take it up a notch? Bring marshmallows to toast, but prepare for instant vaporization upon arrival.
8. A Swamp Full of Mosquitoes
Ah, nature! Enjoy the symphony of buzzing mosquitoes as you become the all-you-can-eat buffet. Don’t forget the swampy aroma—it’s like Eau de Decay.
9. Inside a Porta-Potty at a Music Festival
Who needs a tropical breeze when you can experience the delightful scent of human desperation and hand sanitizer? Truly a multi-sensory experience.
10. The Bermuda Triangle
What’s not to love? You could relax, disappear mysteriously, or both! Nothing says “ultimate escape” like vanishing without a trace. Instagram that.
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