Myrtle Beach: home to golden sands, killer seafood, and the kind of good vibes that make you forget all about spreadsheets and deadlines. But what do you tell your boss when Monday rolls around and you’re still basking in that beachy glow? Fear not—here are 10 delightfully ridiculous excuses to keep the dream alive (and maybe give your boss a laugh).
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"The ghost of a pirate captain kidnapped me." Turns out, Myrtle Beach is haunted! Captain Barnacle Beard needed a crewmate to help him find his long-lost treasure under the pier. It was a “mandatory team-building exercise,” boss. You get it, right?
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"I joined the sandcastle Olympics, and I’m in the finals." Listen, I didn’t plan on becoming an architectural genius, but when greatness calls, you have to answer. My sandcastle has a moat, a drawbridge, and probably a Starbucks.
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"I accidentally became the Grand Marshal of a parade." I was innocently enjoying the boardwalk, when bam—they handed me a sash, a kazoo, and told me I was leading the ‘Save the Seagulls Parade.’ Rescheduling wasn’t an option.
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"The beach sheriff took my car keys." Myrtle Beach apparently has a sand-based justice system, and I unknowingly parked in a “no boogie board zone.” The sheriff told me I’d get my keys back after serving 24 hours of “beach beautification.”
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"My flip-flops melted into the pavement." The sand was so hot it morphed my trusty flip-flops into goo. There’s no way I’m walking barefoot into the office, boss. My podiatrist forbids it.
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"I discovered a rare species of hermit crab, and I’m its caretaker now." His name is Sir Crustacean III, he wears a bottle cap for a hat, and the Myrtle Beach Crab Conservation Society says he’s critically important to the ecosystem.
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"I’m starring in a dolphin musical." They said my rendition of “Part of Your World” was spectacular, and now I’m Myrtle Beach’s newest aquatic sensation. I can’t just leave the pod mid-performance.
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"The Sky Wheel hypnotized me." After riding that legendary SkyWheel, something clicked. It’s like the ride whispered, “Stay here forever.” I’m not saying I’m brainwashed, but… maybe?
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"A souvenir shop sold me a cursed seashell necklace." Every time I try to leave Myrtle Beach, seagulls swoop in and steal my car keys. It’s like a romantic comedy, but with more feathers.
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"I became the official Clown of Myrtle Beach." Retro Myrtle Beach Guy told me the position was open, and it came with a free T-shirt. My first duty? Declaring every Monday balloon dog day.
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